So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
