when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
