We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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