Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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