I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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