toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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