if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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