Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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