Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
