Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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