I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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