Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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