sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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