Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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