Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Randomize
