Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
