I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
