Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
