I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
