i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
