Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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