sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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