I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
