There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize