ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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