Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She's the barista slut.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
