I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Sorry about my life...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize