gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
