If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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