I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
