I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
