garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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