awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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