i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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