I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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