Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
