I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
