Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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