so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
