it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
