Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
