don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
