Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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