love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My penis needs a shock collar
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
