i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
