I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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