One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
