Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
