how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
