dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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