Whod you bang
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
