any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
