I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
