Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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