Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
