Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
