My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
