we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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