we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
