you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
