So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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